The Holy Ghost?
Did I mention how I think I got the Holy Ghost on Sunday? And why do I feel the need to capitalize Holy Ghost? But, anyway, here's what happened...
I went to a church that was finishing up their women's week revival. Because this was the last night, they wanted to take up a collection. The offering was set up with two plates. One plate was for the guest speaker and the other for the church.
The mother of the church gets up and announces she would like to raise $3000. I'm not sure why but no one asked and neither did I. The guest speaker said she was gonna watch the plates to make sure those who visited from her church were putting their money in the right plate.
Ok.
They asked all the women to commit to giving $50. I had five singles in my pocket and pulled it out. A lady behind me asked me how much I had in my hand and I told her. She said to me, "don't worry about it. I got you. You keep that for the baby."
So all the women stand up and get in line to give their $50. Me and the kind lady behind me are the only ones still sitting. I felt a little uneasy but hey, it's not like I had the $50 anyway.
When the offering is over, the lady behind me stands up and asks "How much ya'll got?" They tell her a little over $2000. She offered to give the rest to meet their goal of $3000. And the crowd goes wild!
She even announced that her portion was coming from both of us.
Sidebar. I should note that before the offering was collected, the mother of the church said she was putting in $1500 to start off. Now that I look back on the situation I realize that this was a hustle. First of all, she wrote a check. Secondly, she probably wrote the check with disappearing ink. That check does not mean she actually gave $1500 to the church. Someone pointed out that she probably mans the bank account for the church so what difference does it make if you deposit a $1500 of your money into your own account?
I'm sure people felt more comfortable giving $50 if this old woman can give $1500! It's a hustle. Just like with three card monty. There's always a stick person who wins to make people think the game is easy. But no one realizes that the person that just won is part of the scheme.
Then they took up another offering. I gave $2. I didn't feel bad because I was thoroughly entertained by all the kids that kept getting up to shout. It was hilarious.
There was one really big kid who shouted so much I thought he got serious and started to cry. Then I realized it was just sweat. But I took a long glance at him and realized his clothes were way too small for him. His pants were a size too small and someone had ripped the sleeves off his shirt! They didn't even take the time to sew it back up to make it look like it was bought like that.
Am I going to hell? Hell no. Shoot, I got the Holy Ghost. But now I don't feel like talking about it.
I went to a church that was finishing up their women's week revival. Because this was the last night, they wanted to take up a collection. The offering was set up with two plates. One plate was for the guest speaker and the other for the church.
The mother of the church gets up and announces she would like to raise $3000. I'm not sure why but no one asked and neither did I. The guest speaker said she was gonna watch the plates to make sure those who visited from her church were putting their money in the right plate.
Ok.
They asked all the women to commit to giving $50. I had five singles in my pocket and pulled it out. A lady behind me asked me how much I had in my hand and I told her. She said to me, "don't worry about it. I got you. You keep that for the baby."
So all the women stand up and get in line to give their $50. Me and the kind lady behind me are the only ones still sitting. I felt a little uneasy but hey, it's not like I had the $50 anyway.
When the offering is over, the lady behind me stands up and asks "How much ya'll got?" They tell her a little over $2000. She offered to give the rest to meet their goal of $3000. And the crowd goes wild!
She even announced that her portion was coming from both of us.
Sidebar. I should note that before the offering was collected, the mother of the church said she was putting in $1500 to start off. Now that I look back on the situation I realize that this was a hustle. First of all, she wrote a check. Secondly, she probably wrote the check with disappearing ink. That check does not mean she actually gave $1500 to the church. Someone pointed out that she probably mans the bank account for the church so what difference does it make if you deposit a $1500 of your money into your own account?
I'm sure people felt more comfortable giving $50 if this old woman can give $1500! It's a hustle. Just like with three card monty. There's always a stick person who wins to make people think the game is easy. But no one realizes that the person that just won is part of the scheme.
Then they took up another offering. I gave $2. I didn't feel bad because I was thoroughly entertained by all the kids that kept getting up to shout. It was hilarious.
There was one really big kid who shouted so much I thought he got serious and started to cry. Then I realized it was just sweat. But I took a long glance at him and realized his clothes were way too small for him. His pants were a size too small and someone had ripped the sleeves off his shirt! They didn't even take the time to sew it back up to make it look like it was bought like that.
Am I going to hell? Hell no. Shoot, I got the Holy Ghost. But now I don't feel like talking about it.
posted by Mary at 1:17 PM
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