Making the Band III
This year P-Diddy is at again. Making the Band is up for it's third go around and Puff wants an all-girl group. A group that can follow in the footsteps of TLC, Destiny's Child, etc. etc.
So, the show opens up with a recap of Making the Band I and II. O-Town...flopped. Da Band...flopped- as P-Diddy put it, "a lot of fights, not a lot of hits." The first thing I thought was please let him bring Jonessa from Making the Band II back! Who remembers Jonessa? I sure do.
So Puff's dream team consists of managers, Phil Robinson and Johnny Wright; Choreographer, Laurie Ann Gibson; and Doc Holliday, who has worked with famous acts such as Earth, Wind and Fire.
Auditions are held in New York, Chicago, Miami and L.A. All across the country white girls feel the need to sing Alicia Keys', Fallen and black girls want to sing Ashlee Simpson's, Pieces of Me. What is the world coming to? It seemed the more the show dragged on, more and more girls wanted to sing Fallen...and they sounded terrible. It made me wonder if they'd worked out some deal with Alicia.
One thing I noticed was that there were no light skinned black girls. It was as if Puff was trying to say, "see I picked black girls and there will be no question about that." I guess the century of the light skinned black chick is over. Hey, we had a nice run, give the brown girls some shine!
The first person to audition in LA was a 51 year old woman named, Madame Terry who said she would be the mama on Making the Band III...what else could you be, ma? She looked like she was ready to put some of those girls on a corner and have them trickin'. She was all tatted up and had visible scars on her body. She looked like she'd taken a couple of shots to the face...
There was one girl named Paschon (I hope I'm spelling it right but it's pronounced "passion") and lo and behold she sings Fallen by Alicia Keys. Tyra, who auditioned in New York, but did not make the cut was back at the auditions in Chicago. She makes it this time, I'm not sure why though because she did the exact same sh#$ she did in NY. I think they just did it for the "stay tuned and see what happens to the underdog" factor.
Malika tried out for Making the Band II but never made it. Her excuse was that it must not have been in God's plans. Right. It may have had something to do with those wolfpussy eyebrows that she tried to hide underneath a baseball cap. Patty says she's auditioning because her mom is dying of cancer. I questioned her motives behind that statement but I will leave it alone because you never know what someone's intentions are. I'm gonna keep my eye on her though.
Paschon, Tyra, Malika and Patty all move on to the final auditions in NY with 42 other hopefuls. Spoiler: they also make the final cut. Malika's final audition was full of sparkle...in all the wrong places. She had diamonds, hearts and horse shoe studs all over her face on one side. I don't think she should be drawing that much attention to her face. Put those stick on studs on your belly button or your ankles or something.
Back in NY for the final forty-six girls who nervously warm up their voices. They sound horrible. They get in front of P-Diddy and sound even more horrendous. Puff has to walk out of the room it gets so bad. I'm sure the editing made it seem worse than what it was but hey, it makes good television. Puff doesn't think any of the girls has what it takes. He says you can't teach someone how to be a star. Just ask Michelle from Destiny's Child. Just kidding, I love Michelle :)
Reluctantly, Diddy makes his decision. It all boils down to who has the right "look". After allowing the remaining girls to go to the house and pick out rooms and gush over the Ikea decor (country bitches), Diddy decides the girls cannot get too comfortable because he believes he can do a lot better. I immediately thought to myself, this sounds familiar. Because if you're a reality T.V. whore like myself, you know that Puff did the exact same thing on Making the Band II. He even said so himself, "I've been down this road before."
Then here come the teasers. They always try to make things seem more dramatic than what they are, but I fall for it every time. Lots of tears...people being sent home...cat fights...drama drama drama...somebody falls...everybody laughs...someone's gonna get pregnant...some lesbian action...something about putting a banana in your mouth...the usual.
So, are you gonna watch? Please do. I will keep recapping the episodes and I want you to witness the tragedy with me. Why couldn't Puff put this much energy into another Faith album. We need you Faith!!! Are there anymore Bad Boy artists by the way? What's Babs and Ness doing? Weren't they supposed to be rap's next Bonnie and Clyde? Come on Puff! You're famous for getting people's hopes up but you never truly follow through.
So, the show opens up with a recap of Making the Band I and II. O-Town...flopped. Da Band...flopped- as P-Diddy put it, "a lot of fights, not a lot of hits." The first thing I thought was please let him bring Jonessa from Making the Band II back! Who remembers Jonessa? I sure do.
So Puff's dream team consists of managers, Phil Robinson and Johnny Wright; Choreographer, Laurie Ann Gibson; and Doc Holliday, who has worked with famous acts such as Earth, Wind and Fire.
Auditions are held in New York, Chicago, Miami and L.A. All across the country white girls feel the need to sing Alicia Keys', Fallen and black girls want to sing Ashlee Simpson's, Pieces of Me. What is the world coming to? It seemed the more the show dragged on, more and more girls wanted to sing Fallen...and they sounded terrible. It made me wonder if they'd worked out some deal with Alicia.
One thing I noticed was that there were no light skinned black girls. It was as if Puff was trying to say, "see I picked black girls and there will be no question about that." I guess the century of the light skinned black chick is over. Hey, we had a nice run, give the brown girls some shine!
The first person to audition in LA was a 51 year old woman named, Madame Terry who said she would be the mama on Making the Band III...what else could you be, ma? She looked like she was ready to put some of those girls on a corner and have them trickin'. She was all tatted up and had visible scars on her body. She looked like she'd taken a couple of shots to the face...
There was one girl named Paschon (I hope I'm spelling it right but it's pronounced "passion") and lo and behold she sings Fallen by Alicia Keys. Tyra, who auditioned in New York, but did not make the cut was back at the auditions in Chicago. She makes it this time, I'm not sure why though because she did the exact same sh#$ she did in NY. I think they just did it for the "stay tuned and see what happens to the underdog" factor.
Malika tried out for Making the Band II but never made it. Her excuse was that it must not have been in God's plans. Right. It may have had something to do with those wolfpussy eyebrows that she tried to hide underneath a baseball cap. Patty says she's auditioning because her mom is dying of cancer. I questioned her motives behind that statement but I will leave it alone because you never know what someone's intentions are. I'm gonna keep my eye on her though.
Paschon, Tyra, Malika and Patty all move on to the final auditions in NY with 42 other hopefuls. Spoiler: they also make the final cut. Malika's final audition was full of sparkle...in all the wrong places. She had diamonds, hearts and horse shoe studs all over her face on one side. I don't think she should be drawing that much attention to her face. Put those stick on studs on your belly button or your ankles or something.
Back in NY for the final forty-six girls who nervously warm up their voices. They sound horrible. They get in front of P-Diddy and sound even more horrendous. Puff has to walk out of the room it gets so bad. I'm sure the editing made it seem worse than what it was but hey, it makes good television. Puff doesn't think any of the girls has what it takes. He says you can't teach someone how to be a star. Just ask Michelle from Destiny's Child. Just kidding, I love Michelle :)
Reluctantly, Diddy makes his decision. It all boils down to who has the right "look". After allowing the remaining girls to go to the house and pick out rooms and gush over the Ikea decor (country bitches), Diddy decides the girls cannot get too comfortable because he believes he can do a lot better. I immediately thought to myself, this sounds familiar. Because if you're a reality T.V. whore like myself, you know that Puff did the exact same thing on Making the Band II. He even said so himself, "I've been down this road before."
Then here come the teasers. They always try to make things seem more dramatic than what they are, but I fall for it every time. Lots of tears...people being sent home...cat fights...drama drama drama...somebody falls...everybody laughs...someone's gonna get pregnant...some lesbian action...something about putting a banana in your mouth...the usual.
So, are you gonna watch? Please do. I will keep recapping the episodes and I want you to witness the tragedy with me. Why couldn't Puff put this much energy into another Faith album. We need you Faith!!! Are there anymore Bad Boy artists by the way? What's Babs and Ness doing? Weren't they supposed to be rap's next Bonnie and Clyde? Come on Puff! You're famous for getting people's hopes up but you never truly follow through.
posted by Mary at 10:48 PM
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