Ice Ice Baby

Where can I get this t-shirt???

Don't ask me why but I was reading the lyrics to Vanilla Ice's first single, Ice Ice Baby and noticed that his metaphors were very...not urban.

I heard from a somewhat reliable source that Vanilla Ice used a ghostwriter for this song. He must've been very wack if he had someone else write these lyrics.

And the metaphors were the worst! The bottom of the barrel - literally the worst I've ever heard next to Memphis Bleek.

"Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Then I flow like a harpoon daily and nightly"

"Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle."

"I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom"

"I'm cooking MCs like a pound of bacon"

"Gunshots rang out like a bell"

"'Cause my style's like a chemical spill
Feasible rhymes that you can vision and feel"

Need I say more? Yes.