Mitch Hedberg 1968-2005

On March 30, 2005 the world lost a great comic. Mitch Hedberg was famous for his one-liners which ranged from the absurd to the mundane. He made you cock your head at life and wonder if every little thing in this world could be neatly picked apart and made into pure comedy.
I have provided a few of his quotes for your reading pleasure.
He will surely be missed. Hedberg was just 37 years old.

"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."

"One time a guy handed me a picture of himself and he said. "Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. Here's a picture of me when I'm older. How'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera."

"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer."

"I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming."

"I bought a seven dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring."

"Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I'm going to have all my clothes made out of blankets."

"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. There's a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside."

"I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. They don't call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, and now I have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips..."

"I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others. "

"When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying, 'Here. You throw this away.'"

"This shirt is dry clean only. Which means...it's dirty."

and my favorite:

"I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid-back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut 'em up."

R.I.P