Never frown, you never know who's falling in love with your smile...

Almost a year later and looks who's back on the blog! Yeah, it's been damn near a year since my last post but let's just pretend as though that pause never happened, ok?

It's not as if your life has stopped. Mine sure hasn't. There's so much to tell!!!

I am happy right now. Happy to be writing again. Happy that I am able to get online more often and HAPPY to know for damn sure that I control every aspect of my life and that the world is truly mine.

Alright. I know this sounds corny but I have to say it. I know I'm intelligent enough (Oooh it would be so embarrasing to misspell the word intelligent...and even more embarassing to misspell embarassing...or mispell misspell.)

But I digress...

As I was saying, I know I'm intelligent enough to do whatever it is I want to do in life. Yes, I'm one of those twenty-somethings that still don't know what that is....

I'll figure it out.

But, before I go let me share a quick story about what happened to me today at work.

My job is sponsoring a weight watchers program and lots of people were in attendance today. And they hold this event where? The cafeteria of course! Why are they torturing these people? Half of them are facing the vending machine which is filled with cookies, chips, candy, etc. And they have the nerve to say things like, "Pickles have zero points. Eat as much of them as you'd like...." Meanwhile the fat lady with battleship grey sweatpants is gazing at the vending machine like it's a f@#$ing oasis.

But, I did something that was borderline cruel. I walk into the middle of this weight watchers session and interupt to use the machine. I stand there with my dollar, taking my precious time while I figure out what would best satiate my appetite for destruction.

I make my choice. Oh wait, I don't really want the Sunchips, I'd rather have a KitKat...or a BabeRuth. I can feel them watching me. I start to get a little nervous actually. So in my moment of indecision I hastily choose the Grandma chocolate chip cookies.

Oh shit.

As the pack of cookies drop to the floor of the machine with a thud! I realize there is complete silence. I should have picked the Sunchips.

But, it was too late. And to make matters worse, I can't eat these cookies without warming them up in the microwave first.

The walk to the microwave seemed to take forever. I could still feel them watching me. Only now, I could also sense a tsk tsk here and there, a few people shaking their heads in disgust, and worse of all, sighs of longing. It was a sad journey to that microwave.

When I finally reached my destination, I hurriedly tried to open the pack of cookies. I've never had this much trouble trying to open a snack! The crumpling of the wrapper sounded like thunder in that room! In a desperate attempt to bring this all to an end, I throw the half-opened pack into the microwave and push 20 seconds.

In less than 5 seconds, the bag starts to burn and melt. JUSTICE! I could almost hear a silent cry of vindication spread throughout the room.

But, it's not over til' the fat lady grabs my half baked bag of cookies and runs for the door.

I refused to let them win. I would not let them see me walk out in defeat. I quickly snatched the microwave door open and rushed my cookies to safety.

I pretended as if nothing had just happened. I simply picked up my cookies, wrapped them in a napkin, and got a cup for my milk.

My cookies were not as warm as I would have liked but who the hell cares. I won.